Thinking aloud

I want to put in words what comes to my mind. I love my children as my life and used to be proud of their achievements, their lovable nature and would speak to Rema telling her how fortunate we are to have such BANGARUS (Swarnakkattakal - nuggets of gold - in Swami's words). Both are brilliant in their fields. Anju is a consultant in Radiology and an examiner for Royal College of Radiologists in the UK, the highest she can climb till now. Hari is a PhD in physics from the prestigious world famous Sathya Sai Deemed University. Swami Himself selected him for working in the Sathya Sai Space Theatre. He went step by step from plus2, BSc, MSc to PhD and was a topper always. What else one can aspire to. He is honest, straightforward and perfect in every way.

So we are on the top of the world and cannot pray for more. I admire Hari and tell my friends that I consider him as my Guru. Many staff and some teachers often consult him for help and he is wanted very often.

Hari gets irritated at the slightest provocation and I have heard him talking on the mobile phone very agitatedly. Even I talk to him very carefully, as he does not like unpleasant or bad or incorrect information, which we usually take lightly. Sometimes he will talk hurtingly, as if beating with hands - so severe would be his reaction. But I know it is not his fault - he is a generally quiet, extremely patient and a soft gentleman.

I think the main reason for his irritability is his EGO problem which he inherited from his grandfather. Both were PhDs, with very analytical mind and intolerant to bad thoughts and activities. They are puritans to the extreme and there are many similarities between them. Both are very prone to reasoning also. I think Grandpa had one good quality of Namasmarana. He used to loudly utter Sanskrit slokas, understanding their meaning also. On the other hand, I have never seen Hari doing namasmarana, silently or loudly. Probably he does not want to show off, or he needs these only inside earnestly for internal bhakthi. Rema and I feel that namasmarana is a must for all to cleanse our minds. Namasmarana can kill your EGO slowly if you continue with that intention. Hari needs it. No one can compel. Namasmarana kills EGO, removes anger and calms the mind - thereby you become less irritable and calm. I find that Hari does Soorya namaskar which is good.

Hari, I am not criticising you, but Swami would like me to guide you properly, so I felt during my morning prayers. That is the intention of this write up too. I will continue to adore you as you are, and Amma too. Our blessings are with you.

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